


I want you to love me now

by pure



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, love me now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 09:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pure/pseuds/pure
Summary: I don’t want to hide. I just want to love you now. I think we should just go for it.The people don’t have to be ready for it, we have to.Are you?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :)  
> This is my first ff in English which is also my first one about Dele and Eric.  
> I was inspired by the beautiful John Legend song "Love Me Now"
> 
> I really hope you like it <3

It’s early in the morning when Eric sits at the table, a full bowl of cereals in front of him. He is staring at the cup Dele bought him. It’s a dark blue coloured cup with a pink label on it which says “You are my Prince Charming”. He is tapping on the little heart next to the fairy tale character’s name, making a soft clank sound.

“Morning, hun. How long have you been up?” Dele mumbles, shuffling slowly towards the chair next to his knave of hearts.

“Huh? Ah, just... I-I don’t know. A few minutes... may-maybe an hour. Something like that.” 

Dele furrows his brow “A few minutes, maybe an hour. Okay then...”

As he wants to go to the kitchen to get some coffee, he notices the bowl of cereals, which are already soggy. “Are you waiting for your breakfast to become porridge or why don’t you eat it?”

Eric just looks at him totally zoned out.

“Hey, prince charming! Even your coffee is cold!” Dele says with a disgusted facial expression. “But in a quite nice mug! Hey... What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Dele. It’s just... You know, I thought about... I don’t know how to say it.”

“It’s okay, take your time. I’m here.”

Eric looks at him in a lovestruck way, but at the same time saddened. He is trying to find the right words in his very empty brain.

“The cup...”

“Yeah, it’s a cool one, right? I saw it and thought: yep, that’s for my boy!” Dele laughs.

“What if anyone saw you buying it?”

“What? I’m sorry I can’t follow your thoughts?”

“What if anyone saw you buying a cup with a pink label saying ‘You are my Prince Charming’? Prince. It’s masculine.”

“Oh my god do you think the police will get me? Fuck, Eric! Pack your things!” Dele jokes. “What’s wrong with buying a cup like that?”

“Nothing is wrong with it. It’s just... You’re a man. Not a sixteen year old teenager.”

“So you don’t like it because it’s too kitschy? Sorry I thought it was funny.”

“No, that’s not the point. What if someone thinks you’re...”

“What? Gay? Yeah, I’m gay, Eric. But I was gay before I bought this mug, so don’t panic, my love.”

Eric stirs his cereal mush with the spoon, still trying to find the right words to explain his feelings. His counterpart is crossing his arms and bowing his head.

“I don’t get why you’re afraid of being yourself. It makes me so sad, hun.”

“You don’t get why I’m afraid? Really?” Eric raises his voice, narrows his eyes in suspicion. “Yeah, I mean, sure. Why should I be afraid? Of what? You’re right, Dele. I mean it’s 2017. Everyone is okay with homosexuality. The football scene is leading the way! Look at all those gay players who say it right out in the open! Like... Ah... Shit, I forgot all the names of those hundreds of gay players! Could you help me?”

“Well, I don’t think even when the gay ones would talk about it, that there would be hundreds of them.”

“Wow. That’s the thing that bothers you? That is not the point, Dele! Don’t play stupid!”

“Well, maybe I am stupid, Eric! Maybe I am! Why? Oh, maybe because I want to love my boyfriend. My _gay_ boyfriend. I’m stupid because I bought a _very_ gay mug with a _very_ gay label in a _very_ gay colour for my _very_ gay boyfriend because I thought it’s funny!” Dele shouts as he strikes on the table.

“Stop shouting, the window is open.” Eric says embarrassed.

“Oh, the window is open? Well, I should scream louder that the people on the street can hear it. Hey, world! I am Dele Alli and I am gay and I fucking love my gay boyfriend Eric Dier!” he shouts waving his arms.

“Enough” Eric hisses angrily as he gets up to leave the room.

“This isn’t a daydream, Eric. This is real. You can’t wake up when something bad happens. Sadly you have to stay in this world’s reality. And sadly not everything is fluffy and rainbow-coloured. I swear if I was able to do it, I would light up your whole life every day for the rest of my life. But I’m afraid that I won’t have enough matches. It breaks my heart every time I see you in doubt if it’s right to fight for your love or if you should just quit it and try to love a woman. Or when you’re afraid that someone could recognize that you are gay and hate you. And believe me: I really don’t want you to feel those terrible things! But, please, my love: If it moves you, if it makes you happy and if it makes you feel alive, please, by the love of god, let it! I mean, who am I to tell you what to do but please let it happen. Maybe I’m a bit selfish because... you know. I love you. I really do. And when I’m not by your side I’m going nuts. I love to spend time with you. Driving, eating, laughing, playing, sleeping, fucking. I don’t know what is going on. I sound like a fucking wannabe poet who is trying to get his princess.”

Eric just stands there with his back to his boyfriend. The little crack in his voice makes his heart beats faster and his throat drier.

“I don’t want to hide. I just want to love you _now_. You hear me? Now! Not when everyone is ready for gay people. I don’t want to wait till everyone accepts us. There are so many people who hate me. But they still gonna hate me when I kiss you. And the people who love us will still love us even when we fuck, okay? And if the little wankers won’t do it, I will give you the love from all of them. I will be your father, your mother, your grandfather, your grandmother, your sister, your brother, your cousin, your best friend and your lover. You hear me? But I want to be this right now. Nobody knows when this will be over. Maybe our “forever” is over in five years. Who knows? But I want to enjoy our love. If it’s for five years, that’s okay. But these five years are _our_ five years, okay? I think we should just go for it. _The people_ don’t have to be ready for it, _we_ have to. _Are you?”_

Eric wasn’t able to say a word. It felt like he forgot how to speak. The words Dele used slowly floated his eyes with tears. It was like a poem in one of those romantic dramas he never wanted to watch because they were so cheesy.

 “You’re not here, because you don’t have anyone else or because there is no woman left on the earth. You are here, because you want to! Neither I nor you are here by coincidence. And Eric, I really don’t want to play ‘Brokeback Mountain’. I don’t want to live a life, which is intended for me, which is the ‘right’ one in other people’s opinion. I can’t promise that everything is going to be fine and that we’ll sit hand in hand on our old house’s porch, drinking homemade lemonade and watching the sunset together. I wish I could, because I think that’s what you want to hear. But if we love each other, care for each other, laugh and cry together, sing and dance together, everything is fine! That’s happiness! Ask yourself: what is happiness? It’s not about being always happy and in a good mood. It’s absolutely okay to argue and fight. And after it, we get along with each other. That you’re able to do this, this is what happiness is about. When you know, that the other one won’t run away because of some discrepancies. And if you’re afraid that it could be over, well, then only because you don’t want it to end. This. Everything. Because of love. _That_ is happiness. I don’t need everyone to know about us but I don’t want to hide. I don’t want to hide my feelings and I don’t want to hide my relationship with you. I don’t want to hide… you know… myself.”

“You…” Eric whispers with a lump in his throat as he turns around.

“What me?”

“You said I should ask myself… _You_ are happiness. You are _my_ happiness.” A tear is running down his cheek.

“Oh, my dear” Dele says with a fragile voice, wiping his tear away. “Come here.”

He pushes Eric’s head against his chest and strokes his neck.


End file.
